Revenge. It is what motivates people to do almost everything. This is also true in movies. And also true in Hindi movies. The element of revenge can never be overexploited in movies, but I don't think I would be too far off if I claim that  the eighties and the very very early  90s were the years that totally abused the Revenge Angle.

Think of movies like Mera Jawaab, Kasam Badla Loonga, Teri Meherbaaniyan, Zakhmi Aurat, and trillions and trillions of Daku movies that apparently still reign over some regions of India - Daku movies, not Dakus, I mean. O my poor poor valley of Chambal! How thou hast been overused!

Before I sidetrack any further. We are talking about one such movie, Aandhi Toofan. Another revenge-based multistarrer with names like Hema Malini, Shashi Kapoor, Om Shiv Puri, Shatrughan Sinha and Danny Dengzongpa. The only reason I have given Hema Malini top billing (before the public reading this article goes, Naheeinnn!? like Hema does in her movies) is because she features in this scene we will be talking about. In this movie, Hema and Shatru share a common hatred of Danny and his motorcycle gang (think Motor Psycho!) because... yes, because they raped Shatru's wife and killed Hema's husband (special appearance only for the suhaag raat - inspector Shashi Kapoor). In Hema's case, of course, I pity Danny because they rape her (aiyyayyyooo!) and have to pretend to like it.

Anyway, Shashi Kapoor is an inspector - as usual the honest kind, who isn't scared to put dakus like Danny behind bars. Only problem: Danny can escape, and he remembers his enemies. So on Shashi's suhaag raat, in come the motorbikes, and Shashi is tied up while they rape Hema, and then Shashi is hung from a tree branch (mind you, it had to be a very very very thick tree branch - by the early 80s, Shashi Kapoor was getting to be like his brother Shammi in Vidhaata) - but wait. The filmmakers wanted to show the really diabolical mind of Danny, how he makes fun of death, and how morbid he is or whatever, so they decided to make the death more painful. For both Hema and Shashi. You see, they are playing the guilt angle (I couldn't save him... boo hoo... I killed him... boo hoo) - when they say, let's see how much of a Sati-Savitri you are, you have to support your husband's weight on your shoulders (ouccccchhhh!!! not THIS husband!!! Can I marry you instead and support you? You're a tenth his weight). Of course, Hema Malini is doing her typical naheeiinnnn?!'s throughout this scene, so they decide, enough is enough, lets tie her hands behind her back so that she won't try to save her husband by holding onto his feet till help arrives.

So here's the situation: Shashi Kapoor tied, hanging from the extremely sturdy tree-branch, supported on Hema Malini's shoulders, and her hands are tied behind her back, too. She's already struggling, and the situation is pretty bad, you can already see that. 

At this point, the filmmakers should have just said, you can't mess with perfection, this is as bad as it can get, lets just quit and say cut and print. 

That wouldn't have been such a bad scene, it would just have shown some dark side of the bad guy.

But no, you can never get enough, can you, you dumbasses? They decided to take it a step further. Mac Mohan, who has been the villain's sidekick in Hindi movies for almost as long as Jagdish Raaj has been doing his inspector roles, takes out his harmonica, and stuffs it in Hema Malini's mouth, and says, play it you bitch, let us hear your sad cries through music ha, ha, or some shit like that. Of course all the bad guys at this point have to bray demonic laughter. And, yes, you start to think, okay, they are cruel.

But then, Hema Malini really STARTS to play the harmonica. And then you start to stare disbelievingly at the screen, wondering... whatthefuck?! And it takes you a second's delay, and then YOU start to bray laughter until your sides hurt.

For some reason, Hema Malini really SUCKS at blowing, literally. The sound emerging from the harmonica happens to be the most besura sound you have ever heard, but its not sad, neither is it eerie. It's only tearjerkingly funny. It's like one of those sounds they make in Hindi movies (mostly in the 60s and 70s) starring Rajendranath, when someone loosens the nada of his pants/shorts, and they fall down and he starts to run while they are down around his ankles. You know the sound... kuaaak kuaaaak kuaaaavvvaaavvvaaaaavvvv...... with the "young" college girls (most probably headed by Raajeshwari, while Shammi Kapoor hides behinds the Observation Post flowers) start giggling and shreiking laughter.

Then, it only gets worse. The bad guys laugh their laughter, they get tired, and eventually leave them to their fate. At this point, you would think a normal person would SPIT the fucking harmonica out of their mouth and just shout for help. But not Hema Malini. She keeps playing the harmonica, the same shitty way, and whats funnier is, without even having to MOVE the harmonica around, she starts to play DIFFERENT NOTES!!!! I guess this is how you tell the tune was actually dubbed. I wonder how the guy who did the dubbing kept a straight face while playing his own harmonica, and how many takes it took for him to play that bad. Maybe when they have a very decent Internet Movie Database for such magaaan Hindi movies, they will have the explanation in the trivia section... or maybe, they already have it in the "Special Extras" on the DVD, where the director says shit like, "You might have noticed that in this scene..."

Eventually, Hema Malini gets tired of supporting her fatso hubby's body on her shoulders, and half-faints down onto the ground. When she looks up, she sees her husband swinging from the branch, AND SHE STILL HAS THE FUCKING THING IN HER MOUTH, and she looks at him very sadly, as if she wants to reach upto his feet, but of course she's tied, so she decides to scream instead, only the harmonica makes a few more of those kuaaak kuaaaak kuaaaavvvaaavvvaaaaavvvv sounds!!!!

I HIGHLY recommend that you watch this movie, dear reader, especially for this ridiculously-hammed scene. There are some other good things about this movie: the typical mid-to-late 80s multistarrer, it of course features quite a few rape scenes, and therefore by definition some of the extras have to be "voluptuous" which basically means they have to expose their cleavage. It also features magaaan actors like Om Shiv Puri (or was it A. K. Hangal? I'm not sure, maybe it was both of them).....

Get off your ass and go rent this movie! The title song... Andhi Tooofaaaan!!!! Andhi Tooofaaaan!!!!