This great movie. Such great things it spawned. One of the great things it spawned was the great great unforgettable Kumar Sanu song - Dil, jigar, nazar kya hai. I'm talking, of course, of the great great movie, Dil Ka Kya Kasoor. The song Dil... was soooooo funny - both the music and the video - that even at that point of time, we used to laugh about it. This, as compared to other situations, where we just stored it for future analysis, and found it funny in retrospect.

This movie stars a great great man, Prithvi. This guy probably had ten movies to his credit in his lifetime. For the Bollywood actor, that's as many movies as the number of people in the world that understand what relativity really is (I'm trying to remember who the Other Guy is... hehehe)... Subroto had the audio casette for this movie, and the cover had three people on it. One of them was this unknown woman who was fully dressed in the newly-married Sati-Savitri attire. She looked like she came straight out of a Bhojpuri movie set, maybe it was called Birha Ki Rain or Hamre Piya Gaye Pardes or something. But my first description of Prithvi still stands. He's there on the cover, dressed for some reason in white leather with studs and decorations, and he's holding an electric guitar which isn't connected (Of course not! Are you nuts? This is a Hindi movie!). He looked to me like he was a toota-hua Moon-robot, a broken robot intended for the moon.

This movie also had the great superbitch of the early 90s, Divya Bharati. I don't know why people thought she was sexy/beautiful or even a good actress. She sucked ass, is what I think. The day I learnt that she committed suicide (or whatever, maybe her husband pushed her, I don't give a rat's ass), I laughed. The very next day (it was April 19th or April 18th, 1993), we were watching Kshatriya at a theater in Madras. I remember screaming something like "mar gayi! mar gayi!" when she came on screen.

Anyway, coming back to Dil Ka... the scene we are talking about in this case stars the great great great great magaaaaan man Suresh Oberoi. For purposes of this article, I will refer to him as SOb (hehehehe). This great man has given us so many great character-actor roles to make fun of. At the same time, he has also fulfilled his quota of villain roles and (remember Coolie, with the flip-top sunglasses?) Vicky roles (Vicky is invariably the name of a bade-baap-ka-bigda-beta in Hindi movies, at least it used to be for as long as I have paid attention, I don't really know what kids nowadays are watching hahahahaha.... anyway, the Vicky Theory is due, of course, to Subroto and me)

Scene: it is towards the end of the film. SOb plays Divya Bharati's elder brother, and she has been injured somehow and is in the hospital fighting for her life (as Ashwin once said, uyirukke por-aadindurupaan) and SOb is trying to find out if she's out of danger. The people around him tell him she's fucked, and he can't believe it.

The doctor (the mandatory extra who gets maybe two lines, at least one consisting of humne to poori koshish ki hai, ab baaki bhagwaan ke haath mein hai) says something about her, probably that she is blind or we weren't able to save her legs or some typical Hindi film shit like that ("Hum uske bacche ko bacha nahin sake" comes to mind)... and SOb isn't able to believe it.

I know (after having taught a few medical students who have no business trying their hands at anything scientific) that you shouldn't trust some doctors too much (I have, at least on one occasion seen how some of them - of course, I'm not saying they all are, there are some great doctors around, and very soon, another great neurosurgeon, too, who knows? - have "inadvertantly" chopped off the wrong wire in the human circuit*** resulting in near-death situations which are easily covered up because they have lawyers on their side and they look out for each other), but the dialogues in this movie are ridiculous.

SOb: "Doctor sahaab! Doctor sahaab! Yeh log kya bol rahey hain! Kehdo na, doctor sahaab, kehdo ke yeh log jo bol rahey hain woh jhoot hai... keh do inse ke yeh jhoot hai!"

Doc (sympathetically, or at least as sympathetic as a bad extra can be for the princely sum of Five Rupees) : "Nahin, yeh sach hai"

SOb: "Nahin, TUM jhoot bol rahey ho!"

What melodrama!!!!! SOb, seriously dude, get a life. Get another life, preferably, where you don't have such a bitch for a sister. If she's dying, that's good news! Accept it and let it go.

*** Does that remind you of the typical Hollywood there's-a-bomb-on-the-bus movie, where the leader of the bomb squad doesn't know if its the red wire or the blue wire???