Tired of people asking you uncomfortable questions? Worried that answering these questions will affect your relationship with them? Well, here's some advice that might help: switch subjects. If done tactfully, it actually works. Either that, or you can tell them on their face that you are uncomfortable about answering the question... I *guess* that works... at times....
But if you are still interested, let's go into the first piece of advice. Changing the topic. Let me give you the best example I know of.

The movie: Namak Haraam, a ``classic'' Hindi film (and why is it a classic? Most people will tell you - wrongly -that its because of Rajesh Khanna, well I don't think it is a classic, first of all, but if it was, it should be because of two great people in the movie - and if you are thinking of Amitabh and Rekha, you are dead wrong!) from the '70s just before (or maybe during) the era of Unemployment Films.

Gist of the story: sort of a class war which comes between two friends (jigri dost), one the son of an industrialist, one a son of the streets (if you can *ever* imagine Rajesh Khanna in a ``convincing'' role as the son of the streets, without that moustache that he had in Aaj Ka M.L.A. Raam Avtar !). The good guy is of course the dead guy, was the motto of these movies, so the good guy was always Rajesh freaking Khanna. Anand, Amar Prem (well he didn't die in it, but he was close), Aaradhana, Safar (as Subroto quoted Javed Jaffrey, ``Kakaji Safared so much in that movie...''), etc. were other movies like this one. But Namak Haraam is different because it had Amitabh Bachchan, and he didn't have anything to do with Bengalis. And it also had this great scene that I'm gonna talk about.

The industrialist father orders his men to beat up Somu (Kakaji's character), because the latter has been screaming Union/Strike from the tallest tree. The deed is done, but the son (Amitabh Kya-Yeh-Aapka-Final-Answer-Hai Bachchan) finds out. He's mad at the dad, and if you are a dad, you don't want your son (especially if he's the Big B) to be mad at his dad. The father is played by a magaaaaaaaan yinsaan (literally, I guess, it would translate to great human, but that's not it at all!) - Om Shiv Puri. Me and my brother called him Genda Murgi (Genda - Rhino, Murgi - Chicken), and if you have seen him, you will know why. Anyway, so he's in the old office, which is dominated by this huge model ship (Jahaaz) protected by a glass case.

Amitabh walks in, angry (yeah weren't those the days he was called the mmph grmph... Angry Young Man?) at what his dad has done, and says something like ``Pitaji, aapne Somu ko kyon marvaaya?'' (Dad, why'd you waste him?).... What would you do in such a situation? Well, here's what OSP does: calmly and very thoughtfully strokes the glass case, and says in a very intimate voice, ``Dekho bete yeh jahaaaaaaaaaz'' (See, son, this ship)...
Amitabh repeats his question.
OSP asks his son to look at the ship again, this time including the fact that ``Tumhare dadaji ne yeh jahaaz kharidi thi'' (Your gramps bought this thing).
Amitabh repeats his question.
OSP answers with the ship thing again.
Without asking Om Shiv Puri, ``Is that your final answer?'', Amitabh bashes the glass case and the ship into tiny pieces.

As I said, a lot of tact is required if you are trying to change the topic. OSP seemed *not* to have it in him, but don't let that tiny detail bother you. *Your* son ain't gonna be another Amitabh, right. So, go ahead, anytime you are in a situation where anyone asks you an uncomfortable question, reply with ``Dekho, bete, yeh jahaaaaaaz..''

Not convinced it will work? Oh well. Can't say I didn't try. In that case, you can always go for the second technique. This method was employed quite efficiently by Naseeruddin Shah's character in Maalamaal.  What would you do, if you were given thirty days to spend 30 Crore Rupees, but with a lot of constraints, including one that you weren't supposed to tell *anyone*, even your best friends - and, cleverly including, any girl that might at the end of the film become your girlfriend - *why* you were spending the money - because if you succeed in spending the money, you get to inherit 300 Crore Rupees, which you, of course, being the kind-hearted person you are, will spend on building a whole housing colony for your friends? Well, what would you do? Here's what Naseeruddin Shah does. He spends the money as best as he can, and Satish Shah and Poonam Dhillon (his friend and his soon to  be girlfriend, *in that order*) keep asking him why the hell he's bent upon wasting his new-found wealth  away.

Our friend Naseeruddin (who, in a movie he was in just about a couple of years before he did Maalamaal, immortalized his irritation over his crippled hand with the words - Yeh haath!)  doesn't use the dekho bete, yeh jahaaaaz routine. Instead, he simply and frankly tells the questioning friend and soon to be girlfriend that he will not feel comfortable discussing it with them, and all this with just one word: ``Pardaaaaaaa!'' (curtain)...

So go ahead, knock yourself out. Now you know how to deal with people (this from a person who feels really comfortable listening to robotic voices telling him what button to press, and visits online stores instead of having to deal with people and smiles and Hellos and Have A Good Days).

Our next lesson will be on how to build a cheap android...