This page is inspired by one of the funniest websites in existence, Bubonicfilms. Great work!

One of the entries on this site is what we will be talking about on this page. How did Indian movies handle homosexuality ("Yes Sir!" - Modern Rocketry)? As we all know, Indian movies (and hence, most Indian public) confuse homosexuality with eunuchs, transvestites and, in many cases, with circumcised men (which is why many ignorant assholes refer to Muslims as Katlus). Therefore, the town eunuch is also the only homosexual in town (example: Rakesh Bedi in that Jackie Shroff movie that has the song, Rasta to mil gaya hai, manzil ko dhoond loonga .....) and all homosexuals also have to look effeminate in movies (example: Roshan Seth in Bombay Boys, even though this was a really great film)....

I am immediately reminded of one totally arbitrary (arbit) scene in the Ramsay horror flick, Veerana. This scene had NOTHING to do with the rest of the film, and didn't even fit in with the story of the rest of the movie (but since when has that been a criterion to satisfy in Hindi movies, right!)... Here we go.

In the movie, Satish Shah and Rajendra Nath provide what is supposed to be comic relief. Satish Shah is part of the group of "young college students" and is always found with the girls, and in quite a few scenes expresses his desire to impregnate some of them (or at least get to second base). Rajendra Nath is the owner/bellboy/gurkha at a Hotel in the town, where the college students are staying. The students befriend him, and soon enough he is doing all their work for them, like washing their clothes and ironing Satish Shah's trousers.

At this point in the film, we enter the theater to see what's going on:

Rajendra Nath is busy ironing Satish Shah's trousers, wearing shorts himself. At the same time, he is carrying on a normal conversation with Satish Shah, who happens to be in the shower, probably about "Baby's" (the lead actress who is also, according to "Dr." Narendra Nath earlier in the movie, "pah-ZES-sed!") family history or about the strange happenings at the Bungalow.

When the ironing is done, he walks upto the bathroom door, and says something like "Saahab, yeh lijiye, istri ho gayi"...

Satish Shah's head pokes out, his eyes wide open, wearing nothing but a towel around his waist. Satish Shah says, in a deep voice, very seriously, "Andar aao!"
Narendra Nath, very innocently, asks him, "Jee, saahab?"
Once again, Satish Shah says: "Andar aaaaao..."
Narendra Nath, still very innocent, says, "Lekin kyon saahab?"
Satish Shah: "Andar aao, mera sabun gir gaya hai..."

And, at this point, I don't know if it was just the video casette or the actual movie, but the editor decided that was enough and the scene changed.

Comment: SHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADY scene!

Anyway, that is not the reason i started writing this page (as you might have noticed, the title of this page has nothing to do with this scene) - but I just wanted to mention this scene,  since we were on the topic of same-sex relations.

Another random memory, this one from Toofan TV on Channel [V] - I don't know if you remember this program, Toofan TV was basically the show where they showed the weirdest moments and most sub-standard moments in Hindi cinema. The second episode, for example, focussed on low-budget spy movies of the 70s and early 80s. Anyway, this episode I am talking about was about sex in the movies. Sex in low-budget SHADY movies. One of the small clips they showed consisted of the movie titled "Galat Sambandh" - and you wonder, what is so galat about the sambandh in this movie, I'm curious?! And, to explain, Channel [V] showed you just one single clip from the movie, that probably lasted five seconds, and you immediately guess what the movie is about:

Two girls, smiling at each other, garland each other, Gandharva Vivah style. Is that hilarious, or what?!!

Coming now to the title of this page. Bubonicfilms has this one movie clip from another shady Hindi movie (that was probably dubbed from a South Indian film, because the actress looks like she's from the South) - and of course I don't know the name, but ten cents says that it was Galat Sambandh! Here's what they say about the clip:

Dubious advances by college lesbian results in a stinging reply! "You bloody lesbian!" - serious cinema, this.

Please click on this link to watch the clip, now that you have read the comment.

Please visit Bubonicfilms for more great scenes! They have scenes from Lollywood (for the uninitiated, that's Lahore Hollywood, the Paki film industry) that will have you lolling - sorry I mean rolling - on the floor. In the midst of all these scenes, they also have some really disgusting hilarious scenes from Indian cinema. For example, go to this site and search for "Raj Babbar"... That scene is, by the way, from the movie Sansar (Hindi remake of the Tamil movie Samsaaram Oru Minsaaram by the Melodramatic Mofo, Visu, who nowadays has given up melodrama in movies to show us real-life melodrama wannabes on his Sun TV show, Visuvin Arattaiarangam, where illiterate assholes argue about stuff they know very little about, with the maximum amount of conviction and melodrama, and the maximum number of "seeerrr"s when addressing Visu. As I said, I'm bitter... so... come on chorus, you know what to say.)