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1. |
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2. |
| Travel through major Madras throughfares - possibly Mount Road |
20 seconds
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3. |
Run fake red light at intersection and get a couple of
fake traffic cops to chase you on their motorbikes |
10 seconds |
 |
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4. |
Overtake PTC (Sorry, "Maanagara Perundu") bus,
barely miss hitting mandatory cow crossing the street |
8 seconds |
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5. |
Drive under ladder incredibly placed in the middle
of a busy road, forcing the cops to disturb paint
bucket on top of the ladder,resulting in the disposal
of both cops, with the paint bucket safely secured
around the heads of one |
10 seconds |
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6. |
| Cop drives into tree |
8 seconds |
 |
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7. |
Make illegal turn, and make a loud noise, screech,
skid, and have Ayesha scream to get two MORE
fake traffic cops to chase you |
10 seconds |
 |
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8. |
Force the second batch of cops to weave through fake
roadside market, that inexplicably ends outside what
suspiciously looks like Cozee's on Besant Nagar Beach |
10 seconds |
 |
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9. |
Give cops the slip by driving through fake roadside
stall made up of corrugated iron sheets, complete with
rubber chickens hanging on wire, with the beach in the
background |
8 seconds |
 |
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10. |
Cop's vehicle flips over onto beach, apparently due to
excessive passenger load on motorbike, consisting of
real live chickens from fake roadside stall |
8 seconds |
  |
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11. |
Drive back the way you came, straight into a
handcart full of black plastic petrol cans, spilling
petrol onto road, causing pursuing bikes to skid |
5 seconds |
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12. |
Purposefully avoid the wide road and drive onto a
conveniently placed wooden ramp, driving over four,
count 'em, four Ambassadors |
5 seconds |
 |
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13. |
Discover foot brake at the wrong moment, resulting in
Ayesha falling into a pile of hay, violating
conservation of momentum |
9 seconds |
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14. |
Drive straight into the sidewalk divider and fall
head-first into same pile of hay, once again
violating momentum conservation |
3 seconds |
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15. |
You have arrived at your destination, and are being
stared at by the locals, who happen to be white dove-
rearing tribals, who have just returned after looting
a Sanyasi's entire wardrobe. Oh, by the way, the just
happened to have a set of costumes for a second pair
of lead dancers/singers |
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