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Some 80s ads & jingles!

In no particular order, here are some very memorable (at least to me) jingles from 80s ads (INDIAN, "of case"!)
Note: Thanks to many of you who wrote back with ads you remembered, sorry for not having updated this page since then. Thanks to Ruchi and Ritwick for bringing this page back into the front of my mind so I could update it!

Frooti: (Thanks MSS) Did Frooti always come in a mango flavour? Or was it preceded by Orange Frooti? I'm so confused. Anyway, Mango Frooti had an original ad with a jingle that ended, "Mango Frooti, fresh and juicy" Later in the early 90s, this ad was set to the tune of the then-famous Ice Ice Baby,

"Fresh fresh Frooti, Frooti!
(tin din din din din din)
Fresh fresh Frooti, Frooti!
(tin din din din din din)
Mango Frooti, fresh and juicy!
(YEAH!)
"

To this day, you can hear it on board any train: "Ey, thanda Frooti, cold draaaaaannnnk". Frooti is still being sold at exorbitant prices on railway trains by douchebags who take advantage of anyone suffering from thirst. So much that they will drink even tepid Frooti if it is available, which is mostly the case. It is never ice cold. Fuck them all. I seem to have digressed, but seriously, FUCK all you cold drink vendors. I hate you, Kenny.

Glucon-C(D): "Glucon-C(D), yeh jaan mein jaan daal de - peete hi!" variations include: "iske saath ek foot-patti, muft muft muft!"
"Mmm! Santre jaisa mazedaar!", says the kid who turns into a superhero. One of the ads features this superhero stuck in a BEST bus in traffic. The driver is really pissed of and tired and they are moving real slow and in jerks. Suddenly, our hero clicks his fingers - Ah, I have an idea! He exits the bus running, and changes into Super Glucon-D boy or something and gives the driver some Glucon-D. For some reason, this not only refreshes the driver, it also eases traffic flow! Was that a metaphor to say that this drink also has a lot of fiber in it???? I used to love Glucon-D. The orange taste was great. Almost as good as Orange Rasna.

Tata Namak: Whaaa? You have to advertize for table salt? "Namak ho Tata ka, Tata namak!" went the jingle.

Captain Cook: Hmm, don't really remember anything about this ad. There was something funny about it, but what?

[April 07, 2005] I'm going through a vegetable oil/ghee phase here:

Gagan: I don't remember very much except for the phrase, "Khao Gagan, raho magan!" Was this just Gagan Ghee or was it vegetable oil too? I think Tiku Talsaniya was in the ad, although I could be wrong. Help?

Postman: Postman brand vegetable oil. Why name an oil after your friendly neighbourhood mail delivery person? I don't know. These things used to come in huge blur-coloured plastic cans, I remember. Do they still make them? The earliest ads didn't have the kid dreaming about gigantic puris falling onto him from on the table. It didn't even have the jingle, "Postman... naturally!" But other than these negative results, I've got jack.

Saffola: One (early) version of this ad features some middle-aged dad at his daughter's birthday party, he collapses just as they start to sing Happy Birthday (maybe he just received the bill?) I do remember his daughter (like any other daughter in ads during the time) was in a pink dress. Anyway, sounds of an ambulance. Wife with dried tears in her eyes looking at the camera and saying something about how she takes her hubby's health seriously now and has switched to Saffola. It was made from safflower oil, and had the heart logo on the yellow-coloured plastic can.

Sapan:
Ad 1: Sapan Ghee - No human faces involved. Just a tin of ghee, maybe a bottle, and the sound of cows mooing. All of a sudden, an Amitabh-like voice says, "Dadima, aapke haath ka khaana to bas..." and Dadima's voice says - "Lo, ghee ka kaam, aur dadima ka naam!"

Ad 2: Sapan Rasgulla - A family sings this jingle:

[All of 'em] Shudh Sapan rasgulla, shudh sapan rasgulla!
[Just son] Mmmmm!
[Just mom] Shudhta mein hardam aage
[Just daughter] la la la, la la la la
[All of 'em] Shudh Sapan rasgulla, shudh sapan rasgulla!

Woodwards Gripe Water: [Thanks, Meers!] I hazily remember the mid- or early-80s version of this ad, it just had a bawling kid in it and a mom who uses gripe water to stop the kid from... well, griping. The version that is more famous is definitely the late-80s one: kid crying. Mom taking care of kid. Grandma walks in. "Kya hua?" "Bachchi ro rahi thi" "Woodwards Gripe Water dede. Tu jab choti thi, tab tujhe yehi diya tha maine". Gramma's Mama walks in. "Kya hua?"... and like those Russian stories where the elephant, the chicken, the donkey, the walrus, the hare, the bear, the cossack, the chipmunk and the squirrel slowly add onto the rest of the story just to make it longer, this ad goes from mother to great-great-grandmother. All this to show that WGW has been around since 1919 or something.

Colgate Tooth Powder: [Thanks to Manish Acharya for a reminder!] Two versions of the tooth powder ad, both with the same target audience in mind - country bumpkins who are jocks, apparently. Because, as we all know, everyone in the cities uses tooth PASTE, not powder! [Note: even the Dabur Lal Dant-Manjan ad featured a village school - Lekin masterji, aapke daant?!]

Version one: muscular country bumpkin is out in the yard, with his weights, in front of a couple of buffalo. [Oh yeah, this ad could also have been aimed at the Bhaiiya paap-ulasan in Bombay. Same difference!] As if we aren't already tired of the stereotyping in this ad, a sati-savitri maa-ke-samaan bhabhi is in the background, either praying to the Tulsi tree in the aangan or cooking on the choolha or some other shit that women in villages apparently do.
Bumpkin: Arrey Bhabhi, zara mera doodh-badaam aur koyla dena to!
Bhabhi: Arrey wah, devarji, badan ke doodh-badaam, aur daaton ke liye koyla?!
[Scene change, shows graphic of gums and teeth up close]
Voice-over: Khurdare padaarth daaton ki parakh kharaab kar sakte hain.... [Use Colgate Tooth Powder, blah blah blah]

Version two is basically the same as above except the bumpkin apparently also has a college-going sister. YEAH, RIGHT! As if they let girls in such a family ever leave the kitchen!
Behna: Bhaiyya, main college jaa rahi hoon
Bhaiyya: Arrey pehle mera doodh-badaam aur koyla to zara dena!
Behna: Wah bhaiyya, badan ke liye doodh-badaam, aur daaton ke liye koyla!?
[Same voice-over and stuff]
Bhaiyya: Wah, college jaa ke bahut hoshiar ho gayee hain meri behana!

Hawkins Pressure Cooker: [Thanks to Sumit Bakshi for a reminder!] A minimal ad from the early/mid 80s, it starts with a loud pressure cooker whistle, and then, Preeti Sagar (At least I think it was her, but that could just be me talking out of my ass) starts to sing:

Hawkins ki seeti baji, khushboo hi khushboo udi
Mazedaar, lazzedaar khaana hai tayyar, aji khaana hai tayyar!
Murg Musallam, Tomayyto Soup, Matar Pulao, Maaki Daal,
Kheer aur Dum Aloooooo
Har vyanjan swadisht banaaye, minton mein jhatpat pakaaye
Hawkins! Hawkins! Hawkins Pressure Cooker!

Voice over guy: Vishwasneeya, HAWKINS! Avval quality ka praasure [said with a Delhiite accent] cooker! Bachat kare, barson chale!

Marlex Pressure Cooker: (Thanks for the reminder, Shrirang!) Another minimal from the early 80s. Still image of Tabassum (Phool Khile Hain Gulshan Gulshan) holding up a Marlex pressure cooker. The jingle, sung by Preeti Sagar (I was allegedly kissed by her when I was a kid, I don't remember this), went:

Marlex!
Khana jaldi pakaaye, kaise seeti bajaaye (cooker whistle hisses)
Marlex!
Marlex pressure cooker!


Prestige Cooker:  [Another Sumit Bakshi reminder] The original ad features a wife slaving away in the kitchen while her mother-in-law relaxes in the living room and the hubby is at work (I think). The wife is reaaaaallllyyy overworked and understandably loses it, and starts throwing kitchenware into the living room, and the other people in the house watch each utensil go over their heads like a tennis game.

Voice over: Phenk do yeh kadhaai, bekchi, yeh frying pan
Inse nata todo.
(The last sentence is accompanied by a huge wok landing in the postman's hands)
(Heaven, or the exhaust fan, slowly lowers a Prestige Pressure Cooker into the wife's hands)
Prestige Pressure Cooker. Fry kare, deep fry kare, chun chun sikaai kare.
Jhat ubaale, pat pressure de [Cue to loud whistle]
Prestige Pressure Cooker. Jo biwi se karein pyaar, woh Prestige se kaise karein inkaar!

A second, very similar (albeit shortened) version of this ad plugged Prestige Pressure Pans instead of Cookers. Replace the word Cooker in the above with Pan, and that's what it was.

There were a handful of girls who played the "wife" role in these ads - cookers, Maggi noodles, etc. They were really cute.

Godrej Shaving Cream: Having recently been informed [Thanks Ashu!] that this page contains not even ONE ad about shaving cream, I have been forced to update it! An early-mid 80s ad for Godrej Shaving Cream features Vivek Vaswani as some sort of nervous reporter who is interviewing random men. The scene begins with VV approaching some clean-shaven CONFIDENT guy in a neat suit.

VV: Uh.. S-S-Sir, which shaving cream do you use?
Guy1, confidently smiling: Godrej!
VV: WHY?
Guy1: Great shave, cologne fragrance! Wife loves it!
The guy is talking fast because he is in an elevator and has already reached his floor and is getting off. VV has to now pursue other guys, and he sees another guy enter the elevator -
VV: Sir, which shaving cream do you -
Guy2 turns around and displays his beard, smiles and says, in a deep voice: ME?

Vimal Washing Powder: This ad featured a very young Dileep Tahil (he was pretty famous in Hindi movies at that point, so I don't know why he did this ad, but people do strange things for money and otherwise).
Scene: DT is walking down the street, happy in a sort-of-white kurta and pyjama. The VWP girl on a huge banner comes alive, and here's the conversation (please SING it to the tune of the jingle, imagine the music being played in the extract below):

girl: Suno suno, ay babuji (tanv danv tanv danv tanv danv tanv danv) kahan chale? (tanv danv danv danv) kapde kyon hain mailey dhule?
DT: MAILEY? Lekin maine to laundry se dhulvaayi thi
girl: To kya, zara thehro (winks, accompanied by synth sound of wink, and his clothes become ultra-white) farak dekhlo!
chorus: Vimal Washing Powder, kapde dhoye jagmag jagmag
             Ujwal, ujwal, kapde dikhte nikhaar, rangon ke bahaar laaye jhilmil jhilmil!
             Vimal Washing Powder!

Dabur Chyawanprash (a very famous ad): Featuring great Marathi character actor (who was pretty old by then), Shriram Lagoo. He also has lent his histrionic might (he was another shaking A. K. Hangal but also a villain more often than AKH himself) to Hindi movies. But in this ad (which was released pretty much around the time that the serial Khandaan, which featured both Lagoos, was playing on national television), he is just a regular rich-grandpa (dadaji) and has a social message (sort of) for you.

kid: Dadaji! Badminton!
SL: uh-huh, pehle Dabur Chyawanprash
(voice over): Anwla aur chalees se bhi adhik gunon se bharpoor, Dabur Chyawanprash!

Pan Parag: (another very very famous ad): Featuring the suppressed histrionic mights of a fat Shammi Kapoor and Ashok Kumar and their wives (one of them was Asha Lata, maybe? They were the typical maa-wife roleplayer women of the early- and mid-80s... If someone knows their names, please send them to me. Thanks!)
Scene: Shehnai playing in the background, it is the house where the wedding is supposed to take place, which is the bride's house, and it happens to be Ashok Kumar's house. His wife:

AKW: Suniye, ladki ke maa-baap aaye hain
AK: Arrey, aaiye, aaiye (ha ha ha ha ha, mandatory laughter from all four members)
SK: Baarat... thik 8 baje pahunch jaayegi. Par hum aapse ek baat to kehne bhool hi gaye!
(Shehnai stops, and sudden jarring music is played on keyboard while AK and his wife share a worried look... thinking... DOWRY!)
SK: Ghabraiye nahin, hume kuch nahin chahiye! Hum to sirf itna chahte hain ki aap baraatiyon ka swagat... Pan Parag se kijiye!
AK (relieved): Oh-ho, Pan Parag! Humein kya maloom tha aap bhi Pan Parag ke shaukeen hain... (he pulls out a tin can from under his shawl) Yeh lijiye Pan Parag
(closeup of SK's face which brightens up): PAN PARAG!
(singer, probably Priti Sagar): Pan Parag, pan masala Pan Parag
                                                  Khatir-daari mein zaroori, iske bina mehfil adhoori
                                                   Pan parag, pan masala, Pan Parag!

Pan Parag: (another famous version of this ad): Features Jalal Agha (I always get confused about who the dad was, and who the son was. This was the son, and I think his name was Jalal Agha)
Scene: JA enters a party, and guests notice him and start talking to him.
Guest1 (played by middle aged Delhiite-looking lady): Arrey lo, aagaye? Aaj kal to bade chaaye hue ho TV par, Pan Parag aur kya kya!
JA (smiles humbly): Shukriya
Guest2 (played by Vipin Handa, who went on to have a short-lived talk show called Aamne-Saamne): TV mein to hamesha tayaar rehte ho, aaj kahan hai tumhara dibba?
JA (smartly pulls out a pillow pouch!): To YEH kya hai?!
Guest3: Ek se... mera kya hoga!!! (laughs)
JA: To aap DO lijiye!
Guest4's voice: Aur mere liye?
(JA turns towards the voice, sees its a really tall dude, and pulls out the whole strip and smiles at camera, while Priti Sagar - I think - sings the jingle above)...

Vicco Turmeric Ayurvedic Cream: (a very early, famous version featuring a very young and cute Sangeeta Bijlani. This version is historic because it was always featured before one of the very first sitcoms that I ever saw on Doordarshan, Yeh Jo Hai Zindagi. starring Shafi Inamdar, Swaroop Sampat, Rakesh Bedi and Satish Shah in different roles - who doesn't remember that one episode where he keeps saying, What a relieeeeef!. This was a long time before Sampat decided to do All The Best, with the shitty fake laughter in the background)

Scene: A wedding, the bride's house, the females who are dressing up and decorating the bride (Sangeeta Bijlani) are supposed to be singing, while the parents - Sudhir Dalvi,  Shirdi Ke Sai Baba as the dad, with a typical mom/wife roleplayer from Marathi movies: I can remember her face, but not her name - looking at each other sad yet happy... the chorus sings:

Bade naazon se paali hamaari banno, tujhe dulhan banaaye ree pyaari banno
(shehnai)
(lead female voice) tujhko haldi ka ubhtan lagaayein sakhiyaan (at this point there is cackling laughter from all the girls, as they apply turmeric paste to her legs and her cheeks)
teri kaaya ko kanchan banaayein sakhiyaan
(chorus) roop kundan sa chamke hamaari banno, tujhe dulhan banaaye ree pyaari banno... (at this point, she is going around the holy fire seven times with her hubby, and the wedding is done. The music changes, and they show the couple on their honeymoon, in what is probably Observation Post, but is supposed to be Kashmir, then her hubby jumps into a swimming pool, comes out, and drips all the water in his hair onto Sangeeta, at which point, I was thinking, even that long ago, what are you doing with that useless idiot, How Could You Want Him When You Know You Could Have Me?)
(voiceover says something about Vicco Vajradanti Ayurvedic Cream, which you probably don't notice because they are showing a young Sangeeta on the screen, smiling)
(chorus) Vicco Turmeric Ayurvedic Cream!
(female) Tvacha ki raksha karey, antiseptic cream
               Roop ko sanvarey, nikharey har dam!
               Haldi aur chandan ka anokha sangam!
(chorus) Vicco Turmeric Ayurvedic Cream,
              Vicco Turmeric Ayurvedic Cream!

(at this point all the music stops, and in my mind I always hear the theme song of Yeh Jo Hai Zindagi start up!)

Dabur ka Lal Dantmanjan: (another famous ad) Scene: A classroom in some Hindi medium school in a village. There's a diagram of the front view of human teeth. Teacher has really really bad teeth. The teacher is played by T. P. Jain (thanks, Ruchi)...

Teacher: Bacchon, yeh hai hamaare daaton ki banavat! (looks around) Raju! Tumharei daat to motiyon jaise chamak rahey hain!
Raju: (played by Master Bittu, I think): Kyon na ho, masterji, main Dabur ka Lal Dantmanjan jo istimaal karta hoon!
(a few more dialogues by the teacher, extolling Raju's good habits, which unfortunately I don't remember because the short version of this ad received more airtime)
Another student: Lekin masterji, AAPKE DAANT?!

this ad is connected with the following jingle, though I don't remember at what point in the ad this really starts to play:
(male) Daaton ki karey hifazat, moti sa chamkaaye!
(female) Dabur Lal Dantmanjam se mukhda khil khil jaaye!
(male voice-over) Kifaayti, aur asardaar!

Even though people might not remember this ad, I have heard the last line used occasionally when people want to say "Before removing the mote from thy neighbour's eye, attend the beam in thine own".... in other words, LEKIN MASTERJI, AAPKE DAANT?????

OK Soap: jingle: Jo OK sabun se nahaaye, kanval sa khil jaaye! OK nahane ka bada sabun!
(character, played by Raja Bundela (thanks to a bunch of people for sending me emails about this!): Sachmuch, KAAFI BADA HAI!
(voice-over): Jo OK se nahaaye, kamal sa khil jaaye. TATA utpaadan.

Once again, occasionally heard people using "SACHMUCH, KAAFI BADA HAI!" in fact, I think it was the Zee TV show with Satish Shah, when he's on the run from someone, and he finds this well-endowed chick inside a car, and begs her to hide him in her car. She smiles and says, "OK!" and he says, "Sachmuch, kaafi bada hai!"

Maggi 2-Minute Noodles (Thanks Vishal): Two kids, a brother and a sister, get down from their school bus and open the house gates and enter the kitchen immediately. And they scream in unison, "Mummy bhookh lagi hai!" The mom smiles and says, "Do minute!"
The jingle: unfortunately only the first and last line remain fresh in memory, the rest of it disappeared because they played the short version of this ad for a lot longer than the original version.
"School se aate dhoom machaate
(second line)
(third line)
Ek hi baat pe (something) manaate, Maggi Maggi Maggi!"

Mom: Pal bhar mein tayyar....
kids in chorus: Khaane mein mazedaar!

Dettol Soap: Not a jingle, really. Just a short ad showing this woman in the marketplace, at work, in the bus on the way back home, and dust settling on her all through. She comes back home and voila! There's a bar of Dettol Soap in the bathroom. Harish Bhimani provides the voice-over for this ad: "Dettol Saabun. Mail mein chupe keetaanuon ko dho daalta hai." Simple and short.

Tango: Jingle with people looking bored, including some statue that is really depressed... I don't really remember very much about this ad, except parts of the song.

(spoken:)
It's the same old (something)
The same (something)
And the same old news! (shows news anchors sitting bored, and suddenly someone throws in the soft-drink bottle filled with Tango!)
(spoken, chorus) Add something special! To an ordinary day!
(singing, chorus) A Tango in your hand, a smile on your face
                            And suddenly, the world is a much better place!
                            It's Tango! Tango! Tango!
                            Add something special... to an ordinary day!

(voice-over) Tango! Making the most of an orange!

I think I used to like Tango.

Limca: Weeelll.. now that we are talking about soft-drinks. There was a series of ads for Limca that had the following format:

Girl: Limca! Did you know Limca had...
Guy (choruses): Isotonic salts to quench your thirst?! Asel, mala kai maahit?! I drink Limca, I love Limca!

(there was another one of these with a Surd guy saying something typical like "Oye ki farak painda, I drink Limca....")

Isotonic salts... that was the first time I heard that term, and I had to wait till 9th standard to find out what that meant. Isotonic salts, my ass!
 

Sylvania Laxman: The early ad didn't have the singing bit. It was just Asrani who was a servant. And the lamps in the house all go phut at the same time, so his mistress sends him over to the store to buy Sylvania Laxman bulbs. He tries to remember, but by the time he reaches the store (owned by Viju Khote), he has forgotten what it was called...

Asrani: Ey bhai, Raam Laxman bulb dena!
Viju Khote: AISA KOI BULB NAHIN AATA!
Asrani: Aji kaise dukaandaar hain aap! Duniya bhar mein mashoor (and even at this point, VK starts to understand what A wants and starts to pick it out), uttam quality ka bana....
VK: To Sylvania Laxman bulb chahiye tumhein
Asrani: Haan haan wohi, lekin ek nahin chhai.
VK: Chhai?
Asrani: POORE GHAR KE BADAL DALOONGA!

The reason I capitalized those lines was to show how they came into regular use later on. For example, Srinivas went to The KLS Gogte Institute of Technology (GIT) in Belgaum, and he was telling me that at one of the Cultural fests, at a Sales Appeal contest, one of the teams had to bring out an ad for underwear, and this guy goes...

Arrey haan wohi, lekin ek nahin, do hazaar!
Do hazaar?!?
(looks at the audience) Poore GIT ke badal daaloonga!!!!

Me and Raju started using the "Aisa koi bulb nahin aata" line for anything that people would cook up that didn't exist. Try it the next time someone says Limca has isotonic salts!
 

ECE Bulbs: This ad starred the Artist Better Known As Ghanshu Bhikari (from Nukkad). On the way out of the house, Ravi Baswani's wife says:

(singing) Bhool na jaana! ECE bulb laana!

and then there's a whole lot of people talking in different languages asking him not to forget...

Parsi: Dikra, bhool to nai, ECE bulb lavjo!
Bangaali aurat: Bhoolbe naa nee sho bulb ECE bulb

(I forget the other people)...

and the Bangaali aurat is the last one to tell him about the bulb, when he reaches the bulb shop owned by Ghanshu and says:
Bulbbulbbulbbulbbulb....
Ghanshu sings: Jyaada de ujaala (and the bulb/tube lights up in his hand) din-o-din chalne waala ECE bulb aur ECE tube!
 

Casper Mosquito Repellent: This was more of a Video-ad than a TV ad, but it DID feature on TV. Scene shows a family of mom-dad-bro and sis.

Male voice: Maccharon ko jisse lagta hai dar
kids chorus: Woh hai Casper!
Male voice: Woh chemical jismein dugna asar!
kids chorus: Woh hai Casper!
Male voice: Shaam se lekar subah tak jale!
kids chorus: Woh hai Casper!
Male voice: Jismein ek nahin, DO conductor!
kids chorus: Woh hai Casper!

(voice over): Bhaarat mein pehli baar! Electronic mosquito repellent, Casper! (Only, he sounded like he said Kesper)

Although, this ad DID lie. The very FIRST electronic mosquito repellent on the market was:

Good Knight: I only remember the last line in this jingle: Sweet dreams, and Good Knight folks!

NECC (National Egg Coordination Committee): A very famous ad, because the jingle was catchy.

Calendar (Again, I am using the famous character played by said person from Mr. India, his real name being Satish Kaushik): Meri jaan, meri jaan, murgi ke ande!
Dilip Dhawan: Khaana meri jaan, meri jaan, murgi ke ande!
Female: Omlet khilaoon, fried khilaoon, boiled khilaoon!
Priti Sagar's voice: Khilaoon murgi ke, murgi ke, ande hi ande!
(voice over, probably Harish Bhimani): Sunday ho ya Monday, roj khaayein ande
Calendar (with an egg held between thumb and first two fingers): Fantash-tick!

National Integration Ad: There were about three of these ads... they were long and I used to remember each and every line. Let me see if I can still remember what the order was.

The first ad was the one with everyone carrying the torch through different regions of India. No music here, so I will skip this one.

Mile Sur Mera Tumhara - I think that was the first one. Ahem... here goes my try! Please excuse me if the language is fucked up. If you want, I can correct it... just email me...

(Bhimsen Joshi): Mile sur mera tumhara tooooo soooor bane hamaara... sur ki dariya har disha se behke saagar mein mile... baadalon ka roop-a lekar... barse halke halke....
                            oooooh mile sur mera tumhara tooo soor bane hamara....

(Rajasthan, featuring then-famous bowler Narendra Hirwani sitting on aqueduct) (your) tarang (and) (my) tarang... ek vat baniye (our) tarang!

(?) Tena sur mele mera sur dena milke bane ek nava sur da

(Shabana Azmi right outside the Taj Mahal): Mile sur mera tumhara to sur bane hamaara

(cast of Tamas, supposed to be the Punjab element)
Female chorus: Sur ka dariya behke saagar mein miley
Male chorus: Baadlaan-da roop lehke
Deepa Sahi: Barsanei hole hole....

(we move deep south, and that chakka Balamurli krishna is on the beach with some other idiots... including the magaaaan yinsaan Kemal Saar who doesn't sing shit, but just gives a Digjam pose)

Isayindaal... nam iruvarin... suramum namadaahum (veena, while Kemal saar shows off his Digjam pose)
isaimel raagaahum aadise aarugal mugilai mazhaiaai pozhivadum pol isai!
nam isaaaaaaaaiiii!

(woman singing dhik tak dhik ta jhoom... etc etc)

(man) nanna dhwanige ninna dhwaniya (woman) seridante namma dhwaniya [thanks, Karthik]

(man and woman together) naa swaramoo nee swaramoo sangamam-ani mama swaranga aavatarinche

(mallu dude on elephant) ende swaramum ningalude swaramum ottuchennu namm-ode swaramai!

(cut from one Commie state to another: Bong boatman slowly rowing boat on the Hooghly)....  Tomar shoor modir shoor... sristi hoouu... hoiko shoor... (repeat thrice)

fourth time: sristi hoouu hoi ko taal (change music to manipuri/nagalandi type with people walking past with their arms interlocked around their hips)

(male) Tomar moro shoorono milano (female joins in) shrishti hoo chalo chapano

(music while Goa is shown and they show Mario Mairanidi's - I'm sorry... Mario Miranda's paintings...)

(Mallika Sarabhai in Gujju) Maley soor jo taro maro, bane aapdo soor niralo..

(Tanuja representing Aamche Maharashtra): Majhya tumchya jultya taara madhur suranchya barasti dhaara

(Shrillest voice of ALL, Lata, first singing for Waheeda Rehman) Sur ki nadiya har disha se behke saagar mein mile

(now for Hema Malini) Baadalon ka rooooop leke barse halke halke

(who else?) hooo mile sur mera tumhara

(now they make no pretense and show Lata) Mile sur mera tumhara... toooooo soor bane.... hamaara....

(music increases in volume and speed again and they show the TRIO - Ganga Jamuna and Saraswati, Amitabh, Jeetendra and Mithun, with their arms around each other) Mile sur mera tumhara, to sur bane hamara

(everyone singing together) to sur bane hamara! to sur bane hamara!

(song turns into end of national anthem, Jaya he, jaya he... just the music, while each beat forms the Indian flag and the silhouette of Gandhi)

end title: Har Dil Mein Jagaayein Rashtrajyoti...
 

Wow! I think I got quite a few there. The next one was on the same lines, and was different people singing "Baje sargam, har taraf se goonje bankar Deshraag".... not as great as this one...

Brittania Coconut Crunchies: Features Agha (not the son, the father)... on a tropical location...

Singer: Ek naariyal ped se toota! (falls with sound effects on Agha's head) (he takes it and starts to roast it)
Singer: senk-taap kar use pakaaya... khoob kurmura use banaaya... Britannia Coconut Crunchies!

(and a long time later, they added the later-produced Brittania signature tune at the end... the ting-ting-ti-ding, something like the Intel tan-tan-tan-tan!)

Go Kool Ice Cream: Anything karega for Go Kool! Deewana banega for Go Kool! Mooh mein paani laane wala Ice Cream... ga-ga-ga-ga-Go Kool Ice Cream!

Milkfood 100% Ice Cream: There were a few ads for this Ice Cream, and I have very little recollection of these ads (I think most of my memories of these ads are mixed up with the Go Kool Ice Cream ads)

Milkfood Desi Ghee (thanks, Ruchi): I vaguely remember this one, but one faithful reader says this was screened after every over during the 1983 Prudential Cup. Dara Singh saying, "Milkfood Desi Ghee ka kamaal hai... Bhai wah!"

Bizzare Mazhar: Here's a crazy ad I found online for some Ghee starring Mazhar Khan. I remember having seen this ad on some video casette we were watching, but didn't really pay very much attention to it. But the website has really done this ad a lot of justice.

Gold Spot: The tennis court version...
                    (Guy): She's crazy about (something)
                   (Girl):As crazy as he's about (something else) and hits the tennis ball into the guy's mouth, who manages to remove it just before they sing:
                    (together): As crazy as crazy as we're about... Gold Spot! The Zing Thing! Gold Spot (two bolts of thunder courtesy synthesizer) Gold Spot!

Amul Chocolate (voice over at the end by Harish Bhimani)

(Girl): I am too old for dolls, too young for the Disco (Hahahaha! She said disco!!!)
(Guy, I think this was a very young Aftab Shivdasani): But I think you're just right for Amul Chocolate!
(Voice over): Amul chocolate! A gift for someone you love!

(many ads like this one... one that went too young to be a grandma.... one that was a little girl, etc)
 

B-Tex Cream & Lotion:

Male: Daad, khaaj khujli ka dushman?!
Chorus: B-Tex Malam, B-Tex Lotion
Male: Eczema ka jaani dushman!
Chorus: B-Tex Malam B-Tex Lotion, B-Tex!

Another, more recent B-Tex ad (thanks, Ruchi):

Ravi Baswani is scratching his shoulder and back, when Archana Joglekar steps up and sings a parody of Tirchi Topiwale:

RB (irritated with the itch): Oye Oye!
AJ:
Khujli karne waale! B-Tex lagaa le!
B-Tex lagaake tu apni (aa aa aa)
Daad, khaaj khujli mitale
RB (happily displaying a tube of B-Tex): Oye Oye!

Kinetic Honda (scooter, featured a very young Javed Jaffrey out of a job and suddenly getting a scooter:)

song: Honda! Kinetic Honda! It gets to you, you'll never be the same again! Honda! Kinetic Honda!

voice over: Kinetic Honda! What a scooter OUGHT to be!

Cinkara: Did I just say Jaaved Jaffrey? This is vintage JJ. I very recently (1999) saw the complete theater version of this ad. The secretary in this ad with the wide 80s glasses is soooooooooo cute!!!!

Anyways: JJ is overloaded with work. And just as he is about to think the pile on his desk can't get any bigger, the secretary hands him some more papers...

voice over: Yeh bechaara, kaam ke bojh ka maara!! (he faints)
voice over: Inhein chaahiye Hamdard Ka Cinkara
(JJ drinks it, and in the next scene, breaks through glass and hands in his reports with a flourish)
voice over: Hamdard ka tonic, Cinkara!

Another JJ ad series (thanks, Ritwick): Maggi Hot and Sweet Tomato Chilli Sauce ("It's Different") had a bunch of ads starring Karamchand Pankaj Kapoor and Javed Jaffrey. One of them features them as spectators on a tennis court... and at the end, JJ screams, "Koi mujhe bataayega, ki Maggi Hot and Sweet Tomato Chilli Sauce mein aisi kya baat hai!" and Pankaj Kapoor nonchalantly motions to the crowd without taking his eyes away from his sandwich, and the crowd yells, "IT'S DIFFERENT!", and the tennis ball lands in his lap.

The other, more famous ad, also brought back the imitations of Ajit, the awesomest gangster of 70s films. JJ is dressed as Ajit, and is talking to his henchmen while Pankaj Kapoor is busy opening up a bottle of Maggi Hot and Sweet, and Lily the mistress is at JJ's side...

JJ: Thodi hi der mein hamaara helikaapter Hindustaan se door Birmingham pahunch jaayega. Michael, tum cycle par jaao... (at this point, Pankaj Kapoor takes out a Maggi bottle and thumps it on the table, and everyone fears gunshots and hides)
JJ: Saara shehar mujhe LOIN ke naam se jaanta hai, aur tum yeh kambakhat tamatar ka saaas!...
PK (interrupting): BOSS! Yeh tamatar ka saas nahin, Maggi Hot and Sweet Tomato CHILLI sauce hai, It's Different!
JJ: Saaf saaf kaho tum kehna kya chahte ho!
PK (imitating JJ): This saas, is different, Baas!
(Lily giggles)
JJ: Lily, don't be silly!

Volfarm Tomato Ketchup (thanks again Ritwick): At a party, someone's eating pakoras without any tomato sauce. The host goes upto him, and says, "Thoda ketchup try karo!" and the guest says, "Ketchup hota kaddo bhara!" the host says "Ismein kaddoo nahin zara!" guest tries it, and says, "Wah!" and the jingle begins:
[Male Chorus] Volfarm!
Laal rasile tamataron se hota yeh tayyar,
[Male Chorus] Volfarm!
Nahin koi milaavat ismein, na banaavati rang!
Jo bhi khayein ek baar woh khaatein baar baar,
[Male Chorus] Volfarm!

Pudeen Haara: Hamdard has a lot of ads. One of them features this guy I refer to as Bhanu Pratap because there was some typical 80s revenge movie we saw that had this guy as the villain Bhanu Pratap. Anyway, this ad features Bhanu Pratap as a madaari... and Master Bittu is watching him juggle apples or something. Suddenly the music stops and the apples fall and BP is crouched... "Madaari ji kya hua?" "Kuch nahin beta, p-p-pet mein dard hai!"

Master Bittu rushes to his grandma: "Dadi ma, dadi ma, woh pudine waali dawa do, na, madaari ke pet mein bahut dard hai!"

voice over: Pudeen Haara!

(BP is juggling again)
 
While we're on the subject of Pet-dards, here's a gem of an ad, recalled to my memory thanks to Ritwick and Ruchi:
Kaayam Churn: Rakesh Bedi is dressed in the half-chaddi shikari costume complete with hat and rifle, and he is faced by three rakshasas with stuff written on their bellies (or maybe it was their belts?): Gas, Acidity and Pet-Dard (everything is written in Hindi)... RB is trying his best to get rid of these guffawing buffoon rakshasas (or were they rakshas buffoons? Hmm.) by shooting at them, but to no avail. He remarks, "Hm! Goliyon ka bhi koi asar nahin!" and suddenly a Rishi-muni appears in front of a yagna-kund seated right next to  where RB was standing... and he says, "Inka ilaaj goliyaan nahin, aayurved hai" (and Ritwick assures me that he has used this line in daily life, and I think I should also get people to start using this in daily life) and the rishi gives RB a small bottle of Kaayam Churn. RB says, "Kaayam Churn?" and in the full version of this ad, the monsters vanish in a poof... but in the chopped up version of this ad, as soon as RB says Kaayam Churn, they cut the scene and then show RB smiling at the camera with a small bottle of the Churn in his hand, while the voice-over says: "Bhavnagar wale Sheth brothers ka Kaayam Churn!"

Coldarin: One of the earliest advertizements I remember watching. Very famous line. Man at work screws something up (maybe breaks some glass or drops a sheaf of papers) because he has cold and related headache, and senior goes:

Senior: Yeh kya haal bana rakhkha hai? Kuch lete kyon nahin?
Man: Bahut si dawaiyan lee, sir, but kuch farq hi nahin pada.
Senior: Coldarin lee?
Man: uh-huh
Senior: Tumhein maloom nahin?  Coldarin sardi ki khaas dawa hai.
Voice over: Sardi se aaram, chusti se chale kaam! Coldarin!

Vicks Action 500: This has to be among TWO OF THE EARLIEST advertizements I remember watching in a movie theater.  It features none other than DHEERAJ KUMAR as a fighter pilot with headache and cold. And of course, as soon as he pops a Vicks Action 500, he gives his "sexy" smile and is back in the cockpit!

Strepsils: The other ad which I hold in the category of TWO EARLIEST ADS I HAVE SEEN in theaters. This one also features none other than VIJAYENDRA GHATGE! He is enacting a scene in a movie where he plays the lead role!!!!! And the last dialogue is something like... "Good BYE, MADAM!" and then he starts to cough... so someone pops him a Strepsils... and then he starts charming whatever female is around him. As I said, since these are the most ancient ads I remember, I don't remember very much about them. I wish they would still play these ads once in a while. When will India have something like TVLAND for Indian programmes?!

Strepsils: Another ad featured a cartoon where a lion walks onto stage and decides to roar into the microphone, but only manages to meow. There is general laughter from the audience. Then, of course, it pops a Stepsils and ROAARRRRSSSSS and there is microphone feedback. Another successful short ad for Strepsils! But STILL SHADOWED BY GHATGE!!!!!

Brooke Bond Red Label Chai: The typical young mom (also featured in the Maggi noodles ad) is at the market, and she asks the shopkeeper (who in reality provided the voice for many ads and voice-overs):

Woman: Aji Brooke Bond Red Label Chai to deejiye
Shopkeeper: Aji chai to chai hi hai, paani ubalo, patti daalo, doodh shakkar milao, aur pee jaao. Ismein kya khaas hai??!
Woman: Peeyo, to jaano!
(song, probably Preeti Sagar again):

Baagon ki taazgi laaye, packet bhar shuddhta aaye
Brooke Bond Red Label Chai! Har baar tasalli dilaaye!
Brooke Bond Red Label Chai! sachmuch hai bejod chai

(music stops, and woman continues): Aur daam bhi kifaayti!

Was there a version of this ad with Deepika Chikhliya in it? Or am I confusing it with some other ad? Help!

Nirma: A YELLOW-COLOURED WASHING POWDER/SOAP BAR?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!!? Who would have thought that would sell?  Well, apparently the people at Nirma. Unfortunately, it still sells big, I think.

An often remixed ad, but this was the original shown in movie theaters as well... it featured some good looking young girls including Sangeeta Bijlani...  female lead and chorus singing the song, while the four chicks wash their clothes and carry on with their daily housewife life, which includes travelling in autos and buying lightweight vegetables and dealing with goody-goody kids, maybe. There are clips of other members of the family (decided younger members) pirouetting in bright clothes supposedly washed by Nirma)....

Washing powder Nirma! Washing powder Nirma!
Dhoodh si safedi, Nirma se aayi,
Rangeen Kapda bhi dhul dhul jaye,
[Thanks, Rajan]
(OKAY, big deal, so this line refers to the detergent cake and not the washing powder!) Paani mein rehke bhi yeh kam gale
(at which point, my mom would always say, saala jhooth bolta hai!)
Dheron kapde dhoye aur jyaada chale
Washing powder Nirma! Washing powder Nirma!

Thoda sa powder, aur jhaag dher saara! (music)
Rangeele kapdon ko pal mein ujaala!
Rekha... Geeta.... Jaya aur Sushma (they show the four different girls, including Sangeeta Bijlani getting into an auto. It might sound like I am obsessed with her, but that's not true. I used to think she looked like someone else, as is the case with most female celebrities I know) sabki pasand Nirma!
Washing powder Nirma! Washing powder Nirma!
 (with harmony): NIRMA!
(at this point in the ad, a girl wearing a polka-dot skirt is spinning around, and she turns into the Nirma girl on the packet)
 

(future modification of the jingle had the line "Nirma detergent tikiya iske jhaag ne jadoo kar diya"...)

Rasna: This ad became huuuuuuge when it was played right before and during the fifteen-minute cartoon, shown on Sunday evenings, Spider-Man. It just consists of a lot of kids drinking Rasna, and it includes the fat Gujju uncle who drinks a huuuuuge jug of Rasna (fat people are always funny, I know, I have been entertaining my class since I was in First standard).... jingle:

Ras ki rachna Rasna (chorus: RASNA!)
Tarah tarah ke swaad ki rachna rasna (chorus: RASNA!)
(music)
verse: Ek packet se ban jaaye batteess gilaas (music)
Rasna ka har zaayeka sabke man ki bujhaaye pyaas!
Ras ki rachna Rasna (chorus: RASNA!)

At some point during this ad's release, I think the long version had even the names of all the 10 flavours (the 11th flavour introduced, Mango Ripe, was one of my favourites, was added later on and got its own jingle which I quote below. The 12th flavour was Kala Khatta, I think, and then there was Masala Soda (Jaljeera) which was always misspelt as Masala Sooda.)in the verses of the song.

Once Rasna became part of the Sunday morning line-up of ads, they added this cute female (think Anjali irritating) to the ad, and I believe that girl's parents wanted more money or something, eventually she grew up a little bit, and they made her endorse another cold drink - Sudha. The ad for this drink went thus: It shows the girl, you can see she is grown up, and she says: Pehchana? Badi ho gayi hoon, na? Aur (my taste has become refined, too)... Sudha... etc etc.... In the meantime, Rasna found another cute kid who was younger for their ads. They got their buck-toothed girl, and everyone was happy.

Anyway, my point was, Rasna added the cute kid to the ad and added the punch-line: I Love You, Rasna!

Mango Ripe jingle:

Mango ripe! Mango ripe! Naya hai Rasna Mango Ripe...
Koi samay ho koi bhi din Rasna Mango Ripe ka din
(mmm yummy) (different ways of drinking Mango Ripe: either with water, or as milk shake - at one point they had the shake bottle free with some offer)
Mango ripe! Mango ripe, mazey ka Rasna Mango Ripe!
( I LOVE YOU RASNA!)

At some point in time, Harish Bhimani started doing voice-overs for Rasna ads and started to mention that it was a product of Pioma Industries. And ever since, programs were not sponsored by Rasna, but by Pioma Industries.

Why and how do I remember all this shit? I don't know.

Street Cat: This ad featured one of the first "rap" songs ever on Indian television. Here's the jingle, as far as I can remember it. People with fake tattoos of cartoon characters, maybe. A couple of kids with sunglasses. Two guys with jeans, maybe? I sort of remember some polka-dot ensemble but I could just be "trippin', yo!"

(chorus:) Boom boom shaka laka boom boom shak! Street Cat's gonna knock you back!

Say man, check (sic) the mean machine. It's got what it takes, it's just the scene,
It's called the Street Cat! Moves like a rocket. (something) Whole world in your pocket.
Straight handlebars and wide wide wheels,
Now go show the world you got a clean pair of heels!

(chorus:) Boom boom shaka laka boom boom shak! Street Cat's gonna knock you back!

Street Cat!

Straight handle bars, alright. This bicycle was the first of its kind in India, with the straight handle bars. Every kid who wanted to show off went nuts. Another really irritating thing about this bike: The loud squeals each time you applied the brakes. Fucking irritating! They didn't even come in attractive (or even cool!) colours!!!! In this one case, I have to say, WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?! I mean, my classmates!!!! I thought of this even then, of course. Owning a simple BSA SLR for a while (until, that is, my brother forgot to take it into my cousin's house one night while he was sleeping over, and someone decided it was light enough and nice enough to carry over their backyard wall) was good enough for me. I decided a long time ago that looks weren't gonna be my plus points, haha. But come on, that blue-coloured BSA SLR was great. The Street Cat was the SUV of cycles - no one really needs that shit in the cities, and it causes more noise than it can actually help you negotiate the rough terrain of the tarmacadam city roads... and hey, SUV ads PISS ME OFF... moving on...

Bajaj Bulbs (thanks again Ritwick): A very memorable ad, this features a Parsi guy singing his life story...

Jab main chota ladka tha, badi sharaarat karta tha  (shown reading a book  under his blanket with  his torch powered, no doubt, by Bajaj) meri chori pakdi jaati....
jab roshan hota Bajaj
Kya Rangeen jawani thi, ek raja aur ek rani thi, raja-rani sharma jaate
(the parents turn the light on in the room while raja-rani are making out) jab roshni deta Bajaj
(When he is trying to sneak into the fridge and eat some leftovers late at night, when his wife turns on the lights. I have two things to say about this part:
a) The Rangeen Jawaani lines were cut from the latter years that this ad was screened
b) This guy's wife was CUUUUTE. She had those huge-framed glasses popular in the 80s - think Cinkara girl - and was thin and was probably Parsi herself. When she pointed an admonishing finger at her husband, even at the age of 10, I thought she was the cutest )
Ab main bilkul boodha hoon, goli khaakar jeeta hoon (they show him dry-swallowing some pills) lekin aaj bhi ghar ke andar roshni deta Bajaj!

Voice over: Roshni ki duniya ka sartaaj, BAJAJ!

Bajaj Tubes (HBT) : Yes, they invented something they called "Hydro-Based Technology". Whatever the fuck that means, what, they used WATER? Oh really? Get out!
Anyway, this ad had to show water being used to be converted into fluorescent tubes, so they used the animation effects ripped off from the then-recent movie, The Abyss... then, a Darth Vader-esque guy is armed with a tubelight, and they show him chopping an electricity bill in half:
Bijli ke bill mein (SWISH!) katauti
Roshi mein badhauti, Bajaj tube se!



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