(Prithu,
while watching Geeta's entrance in Seeta
Aur Geeta):
[Sridevi] Kitni moti hai!
(pause while Prithu's brain
works, the cogs slowly turning and the pun slowly forming):
Isne to
mujhe MOTI-VATE kar diya...
What, me worry? I have to justify myself? Hmm.
As Alan and I used to say in college, TTP... Timex Timepass, in other words (inspired by a show of the same name on Channel [V] hosted by Javed Jaffrey.... those were the days!).
Anything and everything I am about, total timepass, as we would say... What is it that makes life funny? I won't tell you that, but I will tell you what some of the funniest things I have heard/seen are.
In between, maybe I will also talk about some things that may not be funny, might not be important, might not be relevant, but just are. Or, maybe, just were. You will know what I'm talking about soon enough...
I guess my main interests and pastimes deal with music, movies, books and trivia. I have no real interest in cars, for example (unless you are talking about The Cars or about the Gary Numan song of the same name), and no real interest in the stock market, either. I would rather spend my time talking about scenes in movies/music videos or music/movie/book trivia or bloopers/cool stuff/fun stuff/ridiculous stuff in movies/music than anything else. I'm obsessed with music and almost anything from 1993, but mostly, its the music.
Listen: Billy Pilgrim has come unstuck in time.
Hindi movies. A constant source of mahaanta (greatness, in case you don't know the word) and mahaan people. Of course, me and Subroto call these things magaan just like the Tams intended it to be pronounced, just like Mahesh becomes Magesh and then Maggi in Tamil. True, its pathetic, but thats one of the things that funny, isn't it?! Sometimes, movies in languages *other* than Hindi are funny. Sometimes, they are even magaan. Take, for example, AK47. Or maybe Olympian Anthony Adam. Let's talk about Hindi movies to start with.... and see where we get with that...
Most of the stuff I hear about Hindi movies comes from Subroto. If there ever is a complete database (like imdb for English movies) of Hindi movies, they better consult Subroto before they go ahead and call it complete.
Did you even wonder how many movies star Master Alankar as young Amitabh? We did. If anyone has the complete list, please mail us.
Personally, I think Hindi movies HAVE to be the funniest ever. As Subroto once said, there are four kinds of Hindi movies:
Bad comedy: BAD (example: Heeralal
Pannalal, a Mithun movie that was totally spoilt by the
presence of the now-irritating Johnny Lever).
Good serious movie: okay (example: Sarfarosh,
maybe, but I would prefer something else, because of its ``patriotic''
connections).
Good comedy: good (example: Aankhen,
Andaz Apna Apna, etc.).
Bad serious movie: VERY GOOD (example: Hindustaan
Ki Kasam and Aks - even though I haven't seen
this one,
I know enough to know its of this genre)!!!
And I think almost every movie will fall into one of these classes. I guess each and every one of us has a ``favourite'' class of Hindi movies - by which I mean it is our most-hated variety. My ``favourite'' class of movies happens to be what I call the Seventies Unemployment Films. You know, those irritating movies made in the mid- and late 70s and also in the early 80s, starring people like Zarina Wahab and Amol Palekar? Maybe the ``saving grace'' (if you can call it that) that these movies had was some of the songs - they were supposed to be good, or something. I don't know. Give me Kumar Sanu anyday! I mean, I can stand movies with bloodshed (good!), some really bad acting (very good!), a lot of irritating people like Kamal Haasan who think they are great actors/actresses and take them seriously (they should listen to this Pet Shop Boys song called How Can You Expect To Be Taken Seriously?)... But I just can't stand these movies where nothing much really happens, and basically everyone is majboor (helpless), and is berozgaar (unemployed, hence the term Unemployment Movie), and has to sing songs that are pseudoghazals (not that I don't like Ek Akela Is Sheher Mein, its just the whole concept is alien and disgusting) or, worse, ghazals (there are two kinds of music I hate most - Country music, and ghazals).... those hideous Jagjit/Chitra Singh creations, maybe even Pankaj/Manhar Udhas, but you know what I mean (They passed me up, confronted all the dope fiends...).
Stop this discussion for a moment... I suddenly remembered. I also
want to talk about the eighties here. Not the American eighties, mind
you, which I have only recently had a chance at discovering - the music
and the movies, that is... I'm talking about the Indian eighties. What
did the Indian eighties consist of? Let's see if I can make a small
list and then expand out from there. Doordarshan, Hamdard ka tonic Cinkara,
Dadaji, badminton!,
Asiad '82 (with Appu the elephant), Space City Sigma, Hum
Log & Buniyaad, Ramayan &
Mahabharat, Lekhu, Hasan Jahangir and Don
II and Hiba's video
films, the birth of a legend (yeah right!) - Gulshan Kumar, Lal
Dupatta
Malmal Ka, the rebirth of the romance movie with Qayamat
Se
Qayamat Tak (considering that it was a ripoff of the standard Romeo
and Juliet theme, nothing new, but a rebirth, nonetheless),
also
called QSQT (and hence also the movie that probably
started
this whole abbreviation thing), the rebirth of Rajshri (ouch!) with Maine
Pyar Kiya (MPK), the whole Oye Oye
thing,
the whole Ek Do Teen thing, etc etc etc... but I am
getting
ahead of myself. I am thinking on the lines of InThe80s.com, only much much
better.
Someday I'm guessing there will be enough stuff to actually classify it into different kinds of timepass, but for now it will all have to stick around here waiting to be classified. No big plans for now. Nothing ambitious.
So, anyway, about Hindi movies again. They can teach you so much!