This article is about a movie I haven't really seen - but Vinay saw it recently and told me the story on the phone, so that I could relate it to the rest of the world. (or, at least, to that pathetic part of the world that reads my Timepass pages) This is an article about the recent Dev Anand flick, Love At Times Square.

Before I start talking about the movie, let me tell you what Subroto had to say about Dev Anand. According to Subroto, Dev Anand is the Ved Vyas of Hindi cinema. Why, you ask? Who the fuck is Ved Vyas, you ask? Oh man.

Ved Vyas was the author of the Mahabharat (at least he dictated it to Ganesh) and as you can see from the Mahabharat, everyone has an evil side - except Ved Vyas himself. Whenever they are in times of crisis and don't know what to do, guess who shows up - no, no deux ex machina. Ved Vyas shows up! When they had to decide what to do with the wifes of Vichitravirya (hahahahaha that name cracks me up all the time. Vichitra means strange, and Virya of course means semen) - how to impregnate them, who shows up to say they will have a pale child (Pandu), a blind kid (Dhritarashtra) and also ends up conceiving Vidur? Yes, boys and girls. Towards the end of the epic, who comes onto stage and comes up with a solution on how to decrease the effects of the Astra that Ashwatthama just released? etc. etc. The author of the book just happens to be the best goddamn guy around, better and wiser even than The Gods Themselves! This is exactly how Dev Anand is portrayed in his movies. Take for example Swami Dada. He not only gets to make out with a white chick within the first 15 minutes of the movie, he also gets to do it with her, and then parade around as a swami who disguises himself as a dada to get his long-lost brother back or some shit like that.

Coming back to Love At... : Dev Anand is a very rich influential guy in the US (so rich, in fact, that he gifts the US government the grand sum of ONE MILLION DOLLARS! Wow!!! Sooo much money! I'm sure the government has better toilet paper in all their buildings now!) and he meets this young man who has just saved a girl from rape, but ended up getting injured in the process. Dev Anand puts him up at a good hospital in NYC and goes there to meet him. You see, in this scene we're talking about, Dev Anand is trying to make the guy feel better about his injury and trying to give him a pep talk. Dev Anand says something like, come on, young man, what the hell are you doing in bed!? You should be up and about! You should be witnessing the magic that is New York City! Come on, get up off your feet and start walking around the city! Have fun!.....

OK, you're hurt, but at least look out the window!

Saying so, Ved Vyas (sorry Dev Anand) opens the hospital room window.

The scene outside: stock shot of the first plane crashing into the World Trade Center on Sept. 11...

Hahahahahahahaha!!!! What does he do now, just gulp, pull down the curtains and say, ``OK, fine, never mind going out, maybe you should stay in and relax for today''??? That would be so much like a sitcom!

Now everyone has probably heard about the email that someone started out as a joke - saying that they were starting a signature campaign against the second movie in The Lord of The Rings trilogy - they wanted the makers to change the name of the movie before it was released, saying that The Two Towers would remind them of the Twin Towers and this would bring back painful memories of September 11th. (First of all, I'm glad you were kidding, otherwise I would have asked you to fuck yourself, second of all, FUCK YOU ANYWAYS)
 

NOTE: CORRECTION to this page! Actually, more like additions. Thanks to Raju for the following contribution:

I was just reading your timepass page (finally!) and read the section on
LATS. It needs some changes.

When Dev Anand opens the window they all see the plane crashing into the
buildings. And everyone rushes to the window. He doesn't change topic. In
fact, in the very next scene he writes a cheque to Guilliani for a million
dollars to aid those hurt in the event while his daughter volunteers to
donate blood for the cause. Tom Alter then calls up thanking him for the
cheque and says that the Mayor would be calling soon but he wanted to call
him up before that. Tom Alter is a Senator friend of Dev by the way.
Another great thing is the reason Dev comes to the US. His wife (Moon Moon
Sen ugh!!) dies in a plane crash (can't say I am sorry) and since his
daughter works/studies in the US in New York he feels he should be with
her. So he buys an estate in SILICON VALLEY and goes there!!

Oh and the attempted rape ... there's this international criminal who's
called Bullet (played by Ashish Vidyarthi) who has to assassinate some
politician/celebrity during a cultural event. He fails and is then chased.
While he's trying to escape (amidst confusion in the crowd and people
running helter skelter) he chances upon the heroine (Dev's baby girl) and
thinks "What the heck, might as well have some sex" and decides to rape
her instead of escaping. And then the hero jumps in and kills him.
Ironically Bullet is shot dead. Thing is that the character of Bullet had
just a total of 5-10 minutes in the movie (Yes Mr. Vidyarthi!). The whole
movie is full of pointless events like these.