This is an actual contribution from one of our readers, Dingchak, [He wanted to keep
his name anonymous so a google search for the word motherfucker
wouldn't end up with a result that featured his real name!] who swore
to
me that he would write an article on "that motherfucker", and I am
pleasantly surprised to get back a reply from him with the following
article. It kicks ass! I sent him an email saying:
>I have been meaning to write about Visu, but I need to gather up
enough
>hatred in a cup and then splash it onto the page for that to happen!
And his reply was titled "Hatred in A Cup", and here it is in its entirety:
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sundar,
I have to see Wardaat now. I was a big fan of the toofan tv show when
it ran
on [V]. What is the history of the test tube tree?
On visu, its a friday, and I have enough venom to spare on the man. I am
attaching my take on visu. Can you include it in your archive?
thanks,
-Dingchak
VISU
-------
Of all the magaan mofos to hit Tamil cinema screens in the mid
80s, there
is none more worthy of Timepass's bile than Visu (I am so cool I don't
need a
last name) and I was surprised to see that apart from Timepass's short
feature on Visu's
Arratai Arangam antics, there is very little written on
this legendary asshole. This is an attempt to plug his..sorry..the void.
[Editor: He means' Visu's
void, which is in definite need of "plugging"!
Also, I could have written more about him, but I was just lazy.]
What makes Visu's story interesting is the range of emotions he evokes
amongst people of different ages. Ask the average Tamil youth anything
about Visu, and he froths at the mouth. Ask a retired Tamilian
grandfather,
and he proudly takes out his tickets from his last Visu movie from Devi
Paradise from his pocket.
Why this dichotomy we must ask.
The hatred Visu has inspired amongst legions of children growing up in
Madras cannot be understated. Sultry evenings in early 80's Mylapore(a
madras suburb) would often find kids amusing themselves in a harmless
Tamilian version of "Eenie Meenie Miney Moe". Their version went "Aadu, Maadu,
Pasu, Kusu" [for the
uninitiated - Goat, Cow, Milch Cow, Fart]. The guy who
was "Kusu" was branded for life, or, at least until the next round.
However, by 1987 the chant had turned into "Aadu, Maadu, VISU,
Kusu", and
it was the guy who was "Visu" who cringed in shame!
So who is this man,and how did he inspire so much hate that children
would
rather be a noxious gas than be linked to him?
Visu pioneered, wrote, starred and directed a bunch of family drama,
middle-
class depression, Patxploitation (exploiting the patriarch) movies
familiar
to all desi movies viewers in the 80's [Editor: Many of these movies have
been
brought into Bollywood by
Visu's lesser-known, lesser-infamous cousin, Kalptaru].
These movies had cleverly alliterative titles - Samsaram Oru Minsaram
(Marriage is like electricity),
Penmani Aval
Kanmani (Girl, she's a pearl - OK, so my Tamil sucks), and many
others
I am too lazy to Google or imdb. Visu's defining characteristic as an
actor
was his overbearing smugness, which sounds like a lot of retired Tam
Brams
in Mylapore i know.
Visu's features typically featured a joint family of ungrateful
children,
usually 3 sons - 2 married with bitchy wives, and one "youth"- usually
Dilip (I'll dance on his grave with my hob-nailed boots) in a cut-sleeve
Banian indulging in the dreadful trinity of the most unforgiveable of
Dravidian vices- smoke, drink and lech (this was before the Hindi serial
Subah -
which made drugs THE thing to do to piss of parents). It also
featured an eternally suffering mother (Kamla Kamesh) flashing a tired,
beatific smile that rivalled KR Vijaya's Amman faces of the 80's- (aaah, but
thats another story) when times were good, and stuffing the end of her
Madusaru saree into her mouth
to stifle her sobs, when times were bad.
*Note* Sometimes the third sibling is a woman, in which case, she is a
slut
with a heart of gold.
*Note* Sometimes there's an adopted kid who generally screws up, but in
a
good way.
[Editor: Remember the Rajesh
Khanna movie Avtaar?
It might start off with
RK signing
Pinchoo Kapoor's cheque in
blood and entering "Radha" in Hindi
as the amount he wants to
withdraw, but it is basically described more or less
satisfactorily by the paragraph
above.]
The plot unfolds with a happy family that eats, sings and laughs
together.
Then the bitches (Bros' wives) start their dissing (i dont know why, but
there's usually money involved), sowing the seeds of dissent. The stoic
father bears all and notes the treachery in his little black notebook
with a
Camlin HB pencil. At the half way stage, things are usually pretty far
gone,
with either the sons moving to a new house, or kicking the others out of
their old house, or dividing the house with Lechman Rekhas etc.
This is when Visu takes charge. Whenever a bitch says something nasty,
he
doesnt fight back, but nods wisely, smiles in his supercilious way and
files
it for future notice. Nastiness upon nastiness builds up to a climactic
last
scene where like Poirot, he gets all the badasses together in the
family living
room, and lashes out a 20 minute dialogue, chronicling each asshole's
treachery.
Now the Visu climax is unique, each slimeball's comeuppance happens with
Visu moving from pillar to pillar in the ancestral home unleashing
vengeance
in a whiny high pitched voice and unique cadence (likened to the sound
of a
dentist drill while having a root canal). When he is finished with one
person, the soundtrack goes *bang*,he moves to the next pillar, and
starts
again. If there's an adopted kid in the story, the last salvo is usually
reserved to show how blood is thinner than water and how the adopted
kid is
the only good apple/white sheep of the lot [Editor: Remeber Sachin's character
Sevak in Avtar?].
All this while, Kamla Kamesh is so busy stuffing acres of Madusaru into her mouth
that she can only nod and sob.
At the end of this, the junta are suitably contrite, and the wives
cringe in
shame. Of course they all make up and realize what a magaan yinsaan they
have in their midst. The husbands slap their wives, and put feet to the
father. All's well and they sit together for the family feast, and the
movie
ends with either a joke, or with a joint photograph.
I was watching Baghbaan
the other day, and from the first 20 minutes,
looking at how happy everyone was, I realized that the only way it could
unfold would be the Visu way. I switched to the Weather Channel
immediately.
If I wanted to relive the Visu experience, I could always go to my
dentist.
- Dingchak
Cool Facts: Do you know Visu's brother is called Kismu?